Trust

Trust is a funny thing.  It is easier to trust a person that you know well rather than a person that you dont know at all.  But the funny thing about trust is somewhere doubt always exists.  Even when you want to believe and trust with your whole heart their is a nagging voice that calls to you. A voice that drops little nuggets of doubt in your mind. Now I dont know about you but this mostly happens to me when people get involved.   For example, I dont have that thought when I am about to sit in a chair. However, when it comes to people I am so hesitant to trust.  I hesitate to believe what is told to me.  But I am learning that the mistrust that I have in "man" should not be transfered to God, even though it is easier to mistrust Him at time than to believe His word.  Trust takes a great deal of faith. I never really knew what it ment to trust God.  I never really had to do it before.  However now that I am, what I can best describe as a full time Missionary, I find my self in a trial by fire situation.  I left it all behind, and please dont get me wrong, I do not regret my decision by any means,I am just saying that this part of my journey is rough.  I am miss independent, and i find that I have the biggest struggle any time that Money is involved.  I struggle because my pride gets in the way. My life is more fun and I am happier when I relinquish the control that I so dearly love over to God.  I do have moment where I freak out, and start to worry but then this voice reminds me that God is sovereign. I just forget to trust.  I am scared to trust.  The uncertainty, and worry threatens to over take me,  but I know the truth.  I know that God is a provider.  I guess what I am trying to say is that TRUST is a funny thing because it takes faith to trust, not Just in people but in God.  You have to be sure of what is hoped for and certain of what you dont see and thats tough. But I love that with trust comes grace.  A measure of grace that let me try all over again to get it right.